Transgendered couple celebrating 40 years of marriage

By MICHELLE BOUDIN / NewsChannel 36

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — It’s the story that has everyone talking. A Charlotte woman had a sex change and says the City of Charlotte fired her because of it.

“That’s as we exited the sanctuary,” Anne Marie Clukey said as she looked at her wedding pictures.

Most couples look different 40 years after their wedding day. But the Clukeys have changed more than most.

“Did you imagine then, 40 years ago that he would now be a she?” we asked Nancy Clukey.

“No. No,” she replied.

“I would think that would be the furthest thing from her mind,” Anne Marie responded.

Anne Marie lived as David until 2001 when he had surgery to become a woman.

“My physical gender didn’t match the way I felt inside. You become very depressed when you have to try to be two people,” she said.

The surgery, she says, freed her. “After the surgery, there was an incredible sense of relief for me. The extraordinary freedom of only having to get up in the morning and be yourself.”

But it strained the marriage.

“The first four, five months I didn’t know to handle it,” Nancy said.

It took two years of therapy, some together, some alone. And Nancy says she thought about leaving, but never seriously.

“Sometimes I felt like I was mourning David, but I got over it. She was happy and that was the main thing,” Nancy said.

Though it hasn’t been easy.

Anne Marie was fired from her job at the City of Charlotte’s maintenance facility. She says she was fired because she’s transgendered and she’s suing, claiming discrimination.

“I’m reasonably sure it was because I’m transgendered and they didn’t want me in a position of visibility,” she said.

“It made me mad,” Nancy said. “It was unnecessary to do that to her.”

Nancy’s support, still unwavering. Though nationally, very few couples manage to stay together post-op.

“Nancy, what made you stay?” we asked.

“I love her,” she said with tears in her eyes. “I didn’t want to give up on her.”

“We already had 30 years together, all the shared memories, three beautiful sons,” Ann Marie said. “Why should we go our separate ways because one of us had to change?”

“To me, she’s the same person inside,” Nancy said. “Whe’s just different outside looks wise, but she’s the same loving person she was before.”

They will celebrate their 40th anniversary Valentine’s Day.

“It’s amazing. You gotta consider how special she is to stay with me,” Ann Marie said.

“We’ve been together 40 years,” Nancy said. “I love her very much. I couldn’t live without her.”

The couple has three children and four grandchildren. As for the lawsuit, Charlotte’s city attorney says there’s nothing to it, but Ann Marie is fighting.

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